I Cheated The Lion (I.C.T.L.-Idiotic Contraptions That LOSE)

Explanation of Title: 'I Cheated the Lion' is a self-invented band name if I were ever sufficiently rad enough to be in a band worthy of the name 'I Cheated the Lion.'

'I.C.T.L.' is the spontaneously-created acronym (from the self-invented band name) that embodies this post oh so well and is also what I tagged a few other posts with; do you remember the emergency paper towel dispenser? Or the misinforming instructions for throwing away trash? (Those were links. Click on them. WHEN YOU'RE DONE READING THIS ONE.)

Now, on to business.

There are very few things that makes sense to the average human.

There are even fewer things that make sense to me.

This example, however, makes sense to absolutely no one:

This may look like an average toilet paper dispenser, and it totally is.

But just look at it.

I mean, really look at it.

I don't know why I never considered it before...

It's locked up.

The toilet paper is locked-I just...ugh.

"I payed two whole dollars more for this two-ply-mega-ultra-downy-soft-bare-OR-bear-bottom-worthy toilet paper. I don't take the protection of public hygiene products lightly man... why are you shaking your head?!"

Toilet paper padlock, I present to you a well-earned *face palm.*

Though holding the camera still while laughing so hard at this overlooked issue was hard as it was, the real problem was trying to cover the noises of the camera taking pictures and loading up with that *ta-ling-a-la-ting!* sound.

Awkward presumptions, my friends.

-rae

P.S. Don't have noobish tendencies and tell me what the point of the lock is. I'd rather be entertained than enlightened. (In this case.)

P.S.S. (I know I always do this. I just don't want to interrupt the flow of the the post.) As careless and indifferent as I may seem (which I actually am most of the time) I really do enjoy reading your comments and having new readers/followers! Please spread the word! You know... if you like reading my blog...

Let me learn it properly from my guru

Mmmm... this guy is just livin the dream.

Happy international day of preserving the ozone layer.

Now don't be playing with me... Respect the holiday.

Don't drive your car,

don't use any hairspray,

don't even think about farting...

Okay.

What needed to be said was said.

This morning I walked down the hall to take a shower, and the cleaning ladies were just leaving the bathroom.

"Are you done cleaning the showers?" I ask.

"Yes-" one of them starts to say.

"NOOOO!!!" the other one turns to me and beckons me into the cleaning storage. She picks up a bottle and points to it. "A veeeery dangerous chemical in showers right now that I just cleaned. No shower for ten minutes!" She jabbed the skull and crossbones on the cleaner.

"Veeeery dangerous..." I nodded and walked back to my room.

I waited an hour until I went back.

Walking into the English building, I visited the restroom before going to class.

After I washed my hands, I realized the paper towels wouldn't come out of the dispenser.

No one else was in the room and I began to panic...

I started hyperventilating and right as I was about to call for help, I noticed a notice:

*EMERGENCY FEED ON THE SIDE, TURN KNOB*

Oh for the love of all that is good in this forsaken universe...

THANK HEAVENS.

-rae

P.S. This is comforting:

This, on the other hand:

aww about google.

i just had fun checking out the fun languages you can change your google page to...

from hacker, to elmer fudd, to pirate.

ah... my kind of search engine.

so i was filling my car up with gas today by the micky's D's on 1600

when i came across this sign.

i don't know about you, but i've been struggling to find a workout routine that's right for me.

looks like this strapping young man has found his though.

easy, and yields quick results!

who knew throwing ninja stars away would make someone so buff so fast?

turns out i learned more than i anticipated today.

on a more serious note...

i don't know what's more concerning.

the fact that this man is going to be walking around humiliatingly disproportional, possibly for the rest of his life,

or the fact that macdonalds feels that people need to be instructed on how to throw trash away.

-rae