I'm waiting for the darkness that's been clouding my mind to dissolve and make room for [something]--'--'------I vaguely recall.
I do remember how it feels to fall asleep with good feelings and accomplishment. Just the smallest hint of satisfaction. I do recall catching my reflection in the mirror and not only being content with who would look back, but being proud.
I'm waiting for myself to leave the house without seeing the perils from outside running at me.
I'm waiting for the shadows under my eyes and the tired look my skin has to liven up again.
I'm waiting for the day when
I see pictures of old friends and old lovers et al. and
I can smile instead.
I can be happy instead.
I can move on instead of
[anything but!!] this.