Most Dangerous Hybrids

The Rhinocosquirell:

Rhinoceros + Squirrel

Lives in your backyard, most likely.

Super fast.

Really mean.

Leaves scratch marks from it's horn on just about everything.

If this is a problem, go ahead and use that spray stuff that is supposed to keep cats from scratching the furniture because we all know it doesn't work on the cats.

Do Not Feed This Animal

The Kangalion

Kangaroo + Lion

Fortunately, only lives in some obscure jungle in Africa.

Extremely smart

Very resourceful.

Is both a carnivorous and... that other word for animals that eat plants.

If you happen to take a trip yonder sometime, bring a camera, as this animal won't charge if there's a great picture opportunity... I mean, look at that pose.

Do Not Feed This Animal

The Great White Seagull

Lives near all water sources and trashy areas.

Very uncoordinated.

Extremely stupid.

Generally very creepy looking, especially when it's flying.

Though this isn't the brightest of the hybrids I'm highlighting today, It will be set off into a frenzy if it can smell either blood or day old bagels near-by. Go ahead and kick it if it gets too close for comfort.

Do Not Feed This Animal

The Spork

Spoon + Fork

Lives in school cafeterias and silverware/napkin packets at company picnics.

Not sharp at all.

Really flimsy.

Generally, this isn't going to help you accomplish anything, e.g. EATING. Really, the cantaloupe chunks just slip right off. No defense against this hybrid unless you don't mind eating with your hands.

Will Not Feed The Animal. (Sorry.)

-rae

P.S. ... it's a very weird morning.