Tuesday, June 14

Most Dangerous Hybrids

The Rhinocosquirell:
Rhinoceros + Squirrel
Lives in your backyard, most likely.
Super fast.
Really mean.
Leaves scratch marks from it's horn on just about everything.
If this is a problem, go ahead and use that spray stuff that is supposed to keep cats from scratching the furniture because we all know it doesn't work on the cats.
Do Not Feed This Animal

The Kangalion
Kangaroo + Lion
Fortunately, only lives in some obscure jungle in Africa.
Extremely smart
Very resourceful.
Is both a carnivorous and... that other word for animals that eat plants.
If you happen to take a trip yonder sometime, bring a camera, as this animal won't charge if there's a great picture opportunity... I mean, look at that pose.
Do Not Feed This Animal

The Great White Seagull
Lives near all water sources and trashy areas.
Very uncoordinated.
Extremely stupid.
Generally very creepy looking, especially when it's flying.
Though this isn't the brightest of the hybrids I'm highlighting today, It will be set off into a frenzy if it can smell either blood or day old bagels near-by. Go ahead and kick it if it gets too close for comfort.
Do Not Feed This Animal

The Spork
Spoon + Fork
Lives in school cafeterias and silverware/napkin packets at company picnics.
Not sharp at all.
Really flimsy.
Generally, this isn't going to help you accomplish anything, e.g. EATING. Really, the cantaloupe chunks just slip right off. No defense against this hybrid unless you don't mind eating with your hands.
Will Not Feed The Animal. (Sorry.)


P.S. ... it's a very weird morning.


  1. My favorite park was the spork haha, it's so true, they are kinda worthless. The "fork" part can't stab things worth beans, and the "spoon" part loses anything spoons are used for. Stupid sporks...

  2. herbivore. and if it's both you just say omnivore, ya know?

  3. Same down here...omnivore's the word!
    I saw the spork-knife hybrid in an hk camping store...not pretty, and almost impossible to use...

  4. I love the spork section!
    So true, they should just give us normal forks ;)