Better Than __-Aye

            These days, there's gloom everywhere.

            Have you felt it? I can't stand it.

            So last night, I was thinking that February...bites some major concrete. I began to troubleshoot the problem so that March could be an improvement. 

            "Let's get to the root of this," I thought to myself. "What is the most general thing that needs to change?" Then I can work down to some manageable specifics.

Next month, I want to be happy--not happier--I want to be happy...in the first place.

I want to be happy.

I want to stop being so damn unhappy, you know?

            Today at work, I was visiting a semi-obnoxious table with a baby that had been making general (and loud) baby noises the whole evening. When I put my hand on the table, he immediately put his hand on top of mine and smiled up at me.

            

Cue sepia tone.  The chorus to I Hope You Dance. 

I'm being very serious.

Do you even know how soft baby hands are? It's incredible. 

            

            In the few seconds before his parents pulled his hand away, I mused about the fact that the tiny baby hands will start holding stuff and doing all sorts of things to get just a little bit tougher. Of course this is good; they'll be stronger and he'll be able to handle harder things. 

            Then I thought about how bold he was to grab my hand in the first place, especially compared to his older brother who shied away from me when I asked him how his pancakes were. Unfortunately, the soft, adorable part of baby will also toughen up. That sure trust he has with everyone will disappear and he'll be able to protect himself from random strangers. He'll learn that touching people's hands is just not something you do, no matter how good it feels sometimes. He'll grow up.

            But for right now, it's whatever. Sure, let me hold your hand just because I can!
         
            Tyler Durden once said, "A moment was all you could ever expect from perfection."
            How perfect was this moment though?
            

            Instead of trying to communicate to the parents that their baby had just healed a shriveled, blackened part of me I had previously believed to be forever maimed by the world forcing me into their den of cynicism and despair, I said, "Well, hello, tiny one. Thank you for that."

            Next month, I'll hold more babies.

-rae

ə hol ʌðəɹ θiŋ ɛntaɪɹli

"Where did you go?" sobbed the tortoise as it's creator came into view after a long while.
"Away," said the tortoise's creator quietly. "I left when you asked me to."
"I'm so sorry," said the tortoise, crying and hiding it's face. "I don't want to disappoint you anymore."
"No need for words," said the tortoise's creator, crying with the tortoise and making sure the tortoise took deep breaths. "You were already forgiven. I've never loved you more than I love you now."

-rae

Dee

I'd like to say my words have all been saved up in my head for when I come back, but I think they must have fallen out of my ears or something.

I've got nothing.

However, I have found that there are plenty of someones to welcome you back to this time of night. Which is not something I would expect. How fascinating.

-rae