Saturday, August 10

Reticence

        "Rae, do you believe in the nature of good vs. evil?"


        "Well," I start, caught off guard. "I guess the first thing that comes to my mind is that in Greek literature, good and evil existed before anything else did. It's such a central theme that you hardly come across a myth that doesn't include, if not revolve around it. That's probably not just Greek mythology, but the vast majority of others, too. To answer your question though, I've never really considered how much I do believe in the nature of good vs. evil. It's both a rewarding and comforting concept and I have gotten into the habit of believing in things that are rewarding and comforting." 


        "Are you thinking too much?" I say instead.

        "Yes," he answers honestly.
        "Don't get to yourself, okay?"
        "I know, I know," he presses his fist to his forehead. Five minutes later: "God, I wish I was normal sometimes."


        "What the hell is normal?" I want to slap him. "I'm not going to let you be sorry for yourself. We have these problems no matter what, so, sure, we can say we have the right to be pathetic and helpless because of them and we can use them as excuses for our vices and reasons for our character, or we can own them. They might be what eventually make us powerful enough to get the better of them. We could be powerful people--we can be the GOOD here--don't you see that? Just get it over with and own up to who you are so you can start realizing what you have to lose." 


        "Hey," I pull his hand down and hold it. "Not to be harsh, but you shouldn't pity yourself. You are what you are"  "and I love you regardless."


-rae

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